The book was quite a study in determinism and explained why people act/react the way that they do. I saw myself and the ways I react, caused by things from my past.

I’m reminded of The Matrix Reloaded when Neo is with the Architect and he describes that Neo is doing what the system requires of him even though it was against his desired goal. “End the cycle or save Trinity…”

I appreciated some of the analogies used to illustrate your points:

“Think of a river flowing downstream. Every bend and curve
in the river exists because of prior geological formations—it
is an effect of what came before. But as it flows, the river
also shapes the landscape, eroding rock, carving valleys, and
determining where future water will go—it becomes a cause
of what comes next.
Your choices work the same way”

I don’t pretend to be an editor, but assumed that you would be interested in feedback, so use what you can from the following:

I will say that describing the structure or the system became a bit repetitive at times.

New chapters start in the middle of pages frequently. Is this space saving? Intentional? I think it would serve my brain if the structure started chapters at the top of a new page.

At times the footnotes inline interrupt the flow you’re your thoughts. It feels like a textbook instead of a synthesized argument for your ideas.

Overall I found it an interesting read and will evaluate people and myself by the decisions being made and why.

Different way of thinking 🤔

A beautifully written and deeply insightful book that challenges how we think about freedom, control, and the systems that shape our lives. Its central message, that true freedom is found in presence, resonated deeply with me. Read it with an open mind, and it may change how you see yourself and the world

As a person fairly well versed in this topic, I must say that Laura Tidwell's book is a powerful reminder that our thoughts can be our own cages. She brilliantly shows that by understanding our limitations, we can finally be free from the weight of guilt, shame & sorrow that prevents us from being free. This book is an insightful & a guide to changing your perspective and finding peace.

Be mindful that the self-reflection required is deep and not always easy, depending where you are in life, you may have to read it twice, and adjust your lfie as you can. True progress demands honesty, but Tidwell guides the reader with a compassionate hand. My best advice is to approach this book with a completely open mind, as if you're starting a new chapter in your life, not with baggage form past: Imagine someone that got divorce w some lessons learned, and got a new girlfriend or boyfriend, and you want to start anew. That's the best mindset I recommend to read this book, of course, even if you married.. just be open minded for improvement not from " Bad", but towards "better". Use it as a tool to define how you want to act & what you want to change, and then put that knowledge into action, is that simple :).

For those navigating complex family dynamics, this book offers a unique approach. I could see families benefiting greatly by reading one chapter a week and discussing it together, fostering communication in a way that is profoundly constructive. It presents tools for understanding that can be a wonderful complement to other forms of self-improvement, & communication skill improvement.

Laura Tidwell’s The Freedom in Knowing You’re Not Free is a powerful recalibration of how we understand ourselves, our systems, and the forces that shape both. She dismantles the comforting myths of choice, control, and moral individualism — and offers something far more useful: structural clarity.

This book isn’t a self-help manual or a philosophical treatise in disguise. It’s a practical map for anyone willing to rethink the role of agency, responsibility, and change through a systemic lens. Tidwell’s insight — that we are not broken, but the current output of an understandable process — is both new and progressive. She shows that lasting change doesn’t come from willpower, but from understanding the architecture of the systems we inhabit and embody. A must-read for anyone ready to trade blame (or self-blame) for pattern recognition.